The End of the Churn?

2017 ended last night, and boy!, what a year it has been. I have well and truly been put through the ringer. Loss in all its forms visited me and I have moved to an entirely new area of the city, but somehow life has righted itself yet again to give me a new beginning in a place where my heart soars every time I look out the window. I am living my dream in  a million dollar home where I don’t have to pay the mortgage, my son is in a good school that might just be the making of him and I no longer feel like I am being torn apart with heartache.

If someone has said to me on the 1st of January last year that I would have celebrated the beginning of 2018 in the posh part of town with views of the fireworks from my own living room with people close to my heart, I would not have believed them. And yet, here I am. As I type I can see the ocean to the right of my computer monitor. It’s been long time since I have lived somewhere with sea views.

For the last two years or so, I have felt a great urge to declutter and I have managed to do it in great style; almost halving my possessions in the process of moving house. There is more that I can cull, but I am content for now. The apartment is starting to feel like home. It’s place I can indulge in hobbies, write, meditate and entertain. There are beautiful walks all around.

A scarce 3 months ago, I was in the worst of health. The biggest fear was I would have to go into care and give up custody of my son. But with the help of good friends, and letting go of unimaginable magnitude, I have stabilised my health to a place where life feels good again.

The beginning of the new year fills me with hope, where none existed a few short weeks ago. People whom I thought essential to my happiness, no longer matter and with their departure, there is no more heartache. It has freed me up to make my own plans for the future.

I still miss my cat Bogie who died in August from a tumour under her tongue. She was my constant companion for over 14 years and after she was gone, the house we had lived in for 6 years didn’t feel the same anymore. But strangely, it is her very departure that has paved the way for me to give up living in a house and move to an apartment.

When my home was burgled in May, I lost almost every single item of jewelry I had had from birth. But the resulting insurance payment which I put on my mortgage, gave me the financial freedom to take a leap of faith and sign up for this apartment without having a well defined plan in place for my own house.

My son was being bullied at school for most of this year, but it was that unfortunate circumstance that finally prompted me to look at a different school for his Intermediate schooling to the one he had always wanted to go. I did not think the bullying would stop given it was the same cohort of kids from his current school that would move to the new school. So I did some research and found a school that went all the way up to Year 8 and moved him there. We now live so close to the school that he can walk himself to and from everyday.

So yes, I have been through the churn in 2017; but it has taken my life to places I never thought were possible.

May 2018 be everything you want it to be and then some more.xx

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